i realised tat for the longest time, there's been this longing within me, that i cant help but want to spill out...but for some reason, its bottled up and wont come out. i guess ive hit the point in my life where im rediscovering the world and falling in love with all that it is.

'suddenly something that was, all at once, pain and longing and aodring had welled up in him, almost choking him. He wanted to tell someone, but he had no words, inarticulate in the pain and glory. It was long afterwards that he realised it had been his first aesthetic experience. That nameless something that stopped his heart was Beauty. Even now, 'bare branches against the sky' was his synonym for beauty.'

-anonymous(cant remember where i found this, but rest assured i am incapable of such amazing prose.)

i remember that saturday where i was in church studying alone, and wondering why its always the case that there's no one there when i gotta study, but everyone there when i dont. anyway, aaron stopped me at the lift for a talk, and the words he spoke to me seemed to linger on even up till now. " i want you to fall in love with God, till you cannot love Him any more than you do."
ii''m sure that thats impossible, cos God is Himself so beautiful that i dont think i can ever 'max out' loving him. but more than that, i guess i cant trust myself either to love him so consistently that i can reach that maximum.

there's sth i've been learning about God, and that is that He cares for my heart. i apologize to those who thru others have come to the conclusion that Christianity is all about being 'holy' and doing the right thing..or being a good person. even saying it reminds me that im not the first to discover that this is not the case. i guess all God wants for us is to "act justly, love mercy, and walk humbly with your God". how can i even talk about it without making it sound like a 'must'! indeed it is, yet the choice is ours. but when you come to see it, you can only cry out 'i want to fall in love with you, i want to fall in love with you.'

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