as i type this, an instrumental version of jars of clay's love song for a savior is playing...hmmm, i think i really wanna say to all my loved ones(friends and family alike) that well, i love you all.. and to my classmates, that well, we're all adjusting to this new phase of life..of working life/army life/slacking life(which some have already mastered),haha yes, and i know we'll prob nvr be able to return to those days of sitting in the canteen, and in classes and lectures, trying to amuse each other and those around us..an immense overflow of nostalgia is starting to fill me.. and i guess these are wat memories are about..whew. amazing.. i think i really need to treasure each moment of life.each moment. it is indeed a gift..ever so often, i wake up late-see half the day go by..o Lord, i really do desire to know what living with you,for you is really like..

i think the title of the post expresses how i feel right now.. i believe and know that God's love is overflowinng (romans 8:38-39)...yup yet at this point in time.. He seems so far.. i dont even know if its me not listening(which i think is probably the case) or whether He has just chosen to be distant.. i like this analogy that i heard from desmond just a few days ago..he said that we're kinda like those drivers in the race rallies.. and we ARE the drivers,not God.i guess it IS our life and we make the choices.. but next to the driver, is the "co-pilot" who gives directions, warns the driver of what is ahead.. cos to some extent, HE sees wat the driver can't, as well as the final point of destination(prob from the map)... yupand though the car is really in the driver's hands... He must LISTEN to the co-pilot in order for the car to reach the right place... in many ways this is like our relationship with God.. and to be honest i dont know if i have been earnestly seeking to listen to God's voice in my daily life... its almost as if i have compartmentalised(ooh long word) my life into QT, fun, exercise, etc etc.... that i have forgotten the desire and the sense of excitement in each activity, not just doing it for the sake of doing it.. think prob also, i may have forgotten my first love(revelation 2), and the msg speaks strongly.. yet i really dont know the condition of my heart,my spiritual life.. all i can do is trust God. yet i pray that i may really grow in my desire for God and love for Him, cos each day it just seems as if i CAN love Him more than i do. i guess i disappoint myself sometimes at the way i live my life, my attitudes.. and i really do wonder what God thinks, although i know HE still loves me, because all my mistakes have been paid for 2000 years ago.. i can now live a free life.. but am i? am i subjecting myself to slavery to the very things God has given me? i dont know if i have shifted my eyes from the Giver to the gifts..dear Lord, i long to return to the quiet place with you, in the stillness, in the fields of grace, to fall in love with you all over again..help me to shift my eyes Lord, from everything that may seek to challenge your place in my heart, and help me to set the eyes of my heart on your Jesus.. come in, reign, take over me again, hold me captive to your love.. i long for this God. yet i shall seek to praise you for wherever i am now, cos if i am not here, i can't get to where you want me to be. thank You for your Son, and your love..

for those who read this and are wondering prob why i put so much effort into my walk with God..haha, its sth i cant explain.. there's always the thought of leaving this and leading my own life.. but i guess the love of God, and the joy and peace..is bigger and greater than all the trials that come.. its not an easy ride, but it sure is worth it.. come walk with Jesus if you haven't already started.
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