i have to admit, my mood today isnt the best, cos well, i realised that im going into NS soon, i mean dont get me wrong... im looking forward to it(honestly im weird), its just that ive been feeling this sense of like, isnt ANYONE gonna miss me? it sounds super self centred and all, but i think that every individual feels this at some point or another. and i guess one of the thoughts that have crossed my mind is, where have all the JC friends gone?other than corrie, who well, thoough i dont show often, i think i really am glad is my existing "link" to JC life(of course, you're more than that la.)
i know everyone has been busy with schedules and all, which brings me to my next thought.. whats the rush in getting asimilated into "life" - the hustle and bustle, the working, getting into what ppl recognise as "thats life", and fortunately/unfortunately i have come to be convinced that life is more than that, and belief isn't that end of it, i'm gonna live my life different. of course, you might say, Hey who wants to work right? but i have to etc etc... i acknowledge that really, many are not as blessed as me, to have the support of parents, financially and in tha case of not wanting to work a few weeks before NS/UNI.. i guess i just feel that somehow when we humans try to pick something to run after, or follow or to be passionate about, it biols down to work- cos thats what society has created. i mean, just look at the hollywood movies and....WOO ok, i just recieved an sms from CMPB, adressing me by my NRIC number..SEE WHAT I MEAN!?!?!?!?!?! ok anyway, i was just saying that well, movies kinda always portray succesful men/women who are high flyers and stuff, and im not sure if that has been the kinda life that ppl have been running after. ok, up to this point, i kinda forgot what direction im heading in. dont get me wrong, im not some lazy guy who hates working. believe me, i ve had thoughts of wanting to relive econs tutorials(anyone got a no. for a good pyschiatrist?) and math lessons, for the sake of having some satisfaction in finishing an essay or question. but i think ive found sth better. the satisfaction which comes not simply by 'what is done', but 'why it is done'.
well, friends, wherever you are, i miss you a lot. i guess this is what it comes to after 12 years of education- we grow up, we have families, and friends perhaps are compatrmentalised into another group to which we need to feed regularly. maybe i miss jc not so much for the lessons, the cosine curves and money demand stuff, but mayb i miss it cos we attended the lessons together. i'm convinced that "life" isn't as bland as it is now. i just need time to figure out what iim gonna do bout it.
